New Start... New Blog

I have been visiting some of my old blogging friends.  I am again starting a new blog site.  Many of you don't really know what happened to me... I just sort of dropped off the face of the earth.  I remained on Facebook.  But to be honest, it has been a very rough year for me which I hope you never saw when I was online.  However, to continue on and to move forward, I am going to have to tell you a little bit about it.

Instead of telling the whole story, I will just bullet point the main points.  I warn you now, it is hard to believe:

• Summer of 2010 was strange and rough in my marriage.  I went through a very confusing time.
• September a strange large amounts of money began to come up in my personal checking account.  When I told my husband Dave, he said it was for expensives.
• We celebrated our wedding anniversary on September 24th... holding hands at dinner and a movie.
• September 29th he announces he wants a divorce.  He doesn't want to be married.  He doesn't want counseling.  According to him, God said to get a divorce.  I begged him all night to reconsider.
• October 1st nothing had changed.  He began to say he would consider counseling if I moved out.  It now become painfully aware of why money was being put into my account; guilt and to make sure I had funds to move.
• October 16th, I moved out with the hope that he would keep his word.  One part of me always hoping that I would wake from the nightmare and the other knowing what has been done and said. Pieces of me seemed all over the floor. 
• October 26th, my daughter comes to me and says she is withdrawing from years of addiction from Meth (the reason I had my grandsons from the beginnning)  Riley was born 8/29/03 and Brady 2/1/05 and we married 9/29/05.  He agreed that we needed to care for my grandsons from the start of our marriage.  We had talked about the boys and my involvement before marriage.
• November 16th 2010, I am served at my desk at work with divorce papers.  I am shocked and am sent home.  He didn't even have the honor in him to call to tell me what he was thinking of doing or to be prepared.  The holidays were rough but we managed.  Assisting Kari in her new life off drugs kept me really busy.
• February 16th 2011, to the day 3 months later, the divorce is final.  In WA, divorce takes only 3 months, not like in CA when it takes 6 months (which might have been better maybe, cause I am still in shock at this point).  Three months doesn't give a person to adjust and deal with emotions or issues.
• Summer 2011 - I begin to realize that we will need a new place for the future so I begin to look for a place near my job.  We moved into a place with 3 bedrooms and 2 baths which we need badly.  Kari is doing great.  My now ex emails me on my birthday to say that it would be nice to meet for coffee but I had heard he had gone online to begin dating. 
• Fall 2011 - Adjusting - the boys begin a new school and Kari begins college classes.  As well as adjusting to our new home.  We celebrate Kari off of drugs for one year!!!  Also, I have now heard that my ex has brought a woman to a family event to meet his family.
• Thanksgiving 2011 - I heard after the holiday that he announced his engagement to this new woman from Oregon he supposively met online. (My question would be: Wouldn't you date someone closer to home?)  The plan he told them is they plan to marry in the Spring.  He has his family now wondering who he is and what has been going on all along.  My confusion is now clearing...
• Update:  He is planning to wed on January 9th at the courthouse.

OK, so that, in a nutshell, is the story.  Sad but true.  So my friends, this blog will be about my story about going forward from here.  It should be a good story.  I am looking forward to the new year (I am not kidding).  I have decided that it will be a time of Personal Change (for the better).  It is time I put a little more focus on myself than I have in the past years.  Last year was about trying to Recover from getting knocked down and getting back up.  This year is different... I might have been "crushed but not destroyed".

How did the boys feel about their "Papa" after he did what he did?  They don't like him very much.  As much as I try to tell them they weren't the reason for his leaving, he never asks about them and they saw his behavior.  Riley doesn't want say his name (we are working on that).  I don't know but I think it comes from Harry Potter... and how the evil guy's name isn't said outloud.  Riley says that Dave is "uncool" and "mean", as well as "he broke hearts", so he doesn't deserve to be talked about.  Riley says that we must move forward because we can't do anything about the past (wise kid).  I would say that there is some truth in that observation or emotions.  Talking about it over and over again is like picking at a scab.  It will never heal... and it will scar.  So, the bottom line is that life isn't fair.  People who say they love sometimes don't.  But one must move on as best as one can.  Dave, or my ex as he will be now referred to, doesn't define who we are.  His actions made us all feel like trash at the curb.  However, we aren't trash.  We have a life to live regardless of people like him.  So, here we go...  Like I said this blog will be about us, as a family, moving on.  Now the stage is set... please join me here.

Blessings